Leadership and Life Balance
How Do I Talk to Parents About Playing Time?
Rhema Adelaja · National Champion & 4x DUX
Set your playing-time policy in writing before the season and explain it to families. When a parent raises it, book a private meeting away from games. Let the player lead, stay calm, point to the criteria and give the player specific steps to earn more time.
The answer
- Explain your playing-time policy and coaching style at the start of the season. Say whether it is equal time or based on performance, attendance and effort, and put it in writing.
- Never refuse all conversations about playing time. Open, honest communication is the aim.
- Do not discuss it right before or after a game. Set a meeting in private, away from the field or stands.
- Let the player lead the conversation, with the parent in a supporting role.
- Ask the player why they want more time. It shows you their goals.
- Stay neutral and calm. Do not take it personally or get defensive.
- Remind the family of the policy you are following and ask for their suggestions.
- Encourage the player to ask "What do I need to do to earn more playing time?" and give specific steps. Find the exact leak and fix that first.
For information only. This is general information for student-athletes, not medical, legal, financial or professional advice. Talk to a qualified professional about your own situation. Terms
Rules and amounts change. Check the official source before you act. Last checked: 28 October 2026.