Confidence and Pressure
How Do I Handle an Unfair Call From a Referee?
Rhema Adelaja · National Champion & 4x DUX
You cannot control the call. You can control your next action. Name the feeling, take one slow breath, then ask: what is in my control, and what is my next action? Do that, and play the next point. After the game, talk to your coach if it still bothers you.
The answer
- Name the feeling in plain words: "I am angry. That felt unfair." Do not pretend it is not there.
- Ask: what is in my control? The call is not. Your preparation, actions and response are.
- Reset your body with one box breath. Say a short mantra.
- Ask: what is my next action? Then do it. One mistake, or one bad call, does not have to become the next one.
- Follow your sport's rules about speaking to officials. If you are not sure, ask your coach before the next game.
- After the game, write what happened in plain facts. If it still bothers you, use Fact, Feeling, Question with your coach: say what happened, say how it affected you, then ask what to do next.
- Prepare for next time. Unfair moments happen in every sport, and in life. Ask what you can do to be ready, and be kind to yourself.
For information only. This is general information for student-athletes, not medical, legal, financial or professional advice. Talk to a qualified professional about your own situation. Terms
Rules and amounts change. Check the official source before you act. Last checked: 14 October 2026.