Leadership & Life Balance

The Pass Play: Your Plan for Asking for Help

Rhema Adelaja · National Champion & 4x DUX · September 2026 · 6 min read

Feeling overwhelmed is common for student-athletes, but asking for help is a sign of leadership, not weakness. Here is a practical plan to ask for support before you burn out.

I was a third-year university rower. I was juggling finals, national trials, and a family issue back home. I thought I had it all under control. I did not.

One morning, I missed a key training session. I had completely mixed up the time. My mind was foggy with exhaustion. I let my entire crew down. After, my coach pulled me aside. I expected him to be angry. Instead, he just asked, 'Why didn't you tell me you were struggling?'

The honest answer was that I thought I was not allowed to struggle. I believed that being an elite athlete meant I had to be strong enough to handle everything on my own. I was wrong. That conversation changed how I saw strength forever.

You Are Not Alone in This

If you feel like you are drowning in commitments, you are not the only one. The pressure to excel in your sport, in your studies, and in your life is immense. The feeling of being constantly overwhelmed is common among student-athletes.

The data shows this clearly. A recent, large-scale NCAA study found that 44 percent of female and 17 percent of male student-athletes report feeling overwhelmed almost every day. So no, you are not imagining this pressure.

In sport, we are taught to be tough. We are taught to push through pain and to never show weakness. This culture makes it incredibly difficult to raise your hand and say you are not okay. But trying to push through it all by yourself is not a sustainable plan. It leads to burnout, poor performance, and injury. It is time for a new definition of strength.

The Strongest Play Is a Pass

Think about your sport. Does the best player try to run through the entire opposition alone? No. They look for an open teammate. They make a smart pass. They use their team to achieve the goal. Asking for help is your pass play off the court.

Asking for help is not a weakness. It is a strategic move. It is a sign of self-awareness and courage. It shows you are smart enough to recognise when you cannot do it alone. It proves you care more about the overall mission, your health and your team's success, than you do about your own ego.

True leadership is not about being invincible. It is about being honest. When you have the courage to ask for it, you build trust with your coaches and your teammates. You show them that it is okay to be human. You create a stronger, more resilient team culture where people support each other.

Recognising Your 'When' Signal

You cannot make the pass if you do not realise you are in trouble. You need to learn how to recognise when you are moving from 'busy' to 'overwhelmed'. Your body and your mind will give you signals. Your job is to listen.

Look for these three signs. They are your signal that it is time to ask for help.

• Your body tells you. You are not sleeping well. You feel tired all the time, even after a full night's rest. You keep getting small colds or feeling run down.
• Your mind tells you. You feel irritable and snap at people for small things. You cannot seem to focus on your coursework or in team meetings. You feel a constant, low level of anxiety.
• Your performance tells you. Your grades are slipping. You are making simple mistakes in training that you would not normally make. You are not enjoying your sport like you used to.

If you recognise these patterns, do not ignore them. They are your cue. It is time to prepare your pass.

How to Make the Pass: Your Script

The thought of having this conversation can be stressful. The best way to manage that stress is to have a simple, clear plan. You do not have to find the perfect words in the moment. You just have to follow the steps.

Pick Your Receiver

Who do you trust? This could be a coach, a team captain, your academic advisor, or a university counsellor. Think now about who you feel comfortable talking to. Having a person in mind before you need them makes the first step much easier.

Pick the Moment

Timing is important. Do not try to have a serious conversation two minutes before a match or in a crowded hallway. Show respect for the person and for yourself by finding a proper time. Send them a message. Ask, 'Coach, can we talk for ten minutes after practice tomorrow? There is something I would like to discuss.'

Say the Words

When the time comes, be direct. You do not need a long story. Use a simple script. Start with the situation. 'I have been feeling really overwhelmed lately.' Then, explain the impact. 'It is affecting my focus in training and my schoolwork.' Finally, make the ask. Be clear about what you need. 'I need some help to prioritise my schedule.' Or even more directly, 'I need support. I cannot do this alone.'

What Happens After You Ask

The first thing you will feel is relief. The weight is no longer yours to carry alone. The act of sharing the burden makes it lighter. You have started the process of finding a solution.

Next, you will build a stronger connection with the person you spoke to. You showed them trust, and they will likely respond with support. This deepens the relationships that are critical for your success.

Most importantly, you have behaved like a leader. By showing vulnerability, you have given permission for others on your team to do the same. You have started to build a culture where strength is not about pretending you are fine. It is about having the courage to get the help you need to be at your best for the team.

Your task this week is simple. Identify one person in your support network. Your trusted receiver. You do not have to talk to them yet. Just know who you would pass the ball to. That is your plan. That is your first step.